October 19, 2019

September Road Trip: Autumn + Auroras in Iceland

Reynisfjara Beach, Vík, Iceland

When I find myself lacking words to adequately describe how I feel, I take a photograph. It’s an expression of emotion, a love letter to my family, especially my sons, because sometimes motherhood throws so many emotions into one moment, I can’t say it with words. My oldest son was born the day after my 25th birthday, and even though by definition I was a working adult with a career and was already working toward a Master’s Degree, I had the good sense and maturity of a teenager, and looking back at that time, it feels like I was a baby giving birth to a baby, and had no business being responsible for another human life. But, alas, there are no background checks or tests required for parenthood. The last 14 years have been a combination of instincts, book reading, ignoring bad advice, leaning on solid friendships, and “fake it ’til you make it” parenting strategies. I feel like we’ve done pretty well, my son and I, and we’ve grown into this place where we have conversations like adults sometimes, and he makes really good points in heavy discussions about politics, music, culture, art, and religion. But when I see his face, I can hear the little voice singing “take me out to the ballgame” with all the words mixed up, one of his favorite songs as a three-year-old. In many ways, this feels like the place in time where we put an exclamation point on his childhood. Taking him on an adventure through Iceland, just the two of us, seemed to be the perfect way to mark this occasion.

Yes, he’s still a boy, but it’s been several years since I’ve carried his sleepy little body from the couch to tuck him into bed, years since he’s played super hero dress up with his brothers, and just recently, he gifted his younger siblings Dr. Who characters and Lego creations that spent years as proud childhood displays on his shelves. He’s ready to move on. I, on the other hand, am not. We celebrated both of our birthdays (mine, the last of my 30’s and his, the last before high school) on the last week of September on a road trip across Iceland (my favorite place in the world) in search of the Northern Lights. Just us. And on the second to last night we spent there, the lights came out in a dazzling display, in a farmer’s field, near the cold, salty coast at midnight. We were both awed. In that moment, we stared at the sky with wide-eyed amazement, like two children experiencing magic for the first time. I just felt so incredibly grateful for that moment, for my son, for the opportunity to hear him laugh in a way I hadn’t heard in a long time, away from wifi and the pressures of middle school . . . the freedom to be himself, in a place I love and treasure. The world, like motherhood, can be so hard, but it can also be so freaking beautiful.

Vestrahorn, Stokksnes, Höfn

Reynisfjara + Vík

black sand beach in Vik and church gate cemetery in Vik Iceland

Jökulsárlón

boy licking glacier at diamond beach, Iceland

Skógafoss

smiling boy at skogafoss waterfall in southern Iceland

Þingvellir

Thingvellir national park Iceland boy in t shirt looking at map

boy squinting in sun with fall leaves behind him

Golden Circle

boy leaning out window and boy feeding Icelandic horse

Kerið Crater

boy staring down at Kerid crater Golden Circle Iceland

*Reykjadalur Ther***mal River*, Hike, and Icelandair Hotel Reykjavík Marina***

Boy relaxing half submerged in thermal hot river Iceland

Reykjavík

boy sitting on steps in Reykjavik Iceland

Boy looking through telescope at Maritime Museum in Reykjavik

Boy playing with rubiks cube at flea market in Reykjavik Iceland

Icelandic Phallogical Museum. Yes, I took a 14 year old boy to a penis museum. Oddly, it was very educational and well curated, with plenty of middle aged women giggling like they were at a bachelorette party with a penis cake.